Lifedate.

It's like an update, but just about life. I don't know, my brain is fuzzy and lacking in creative juices on this toasty Wednesday morning.

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year. Onlookers gathered at Stonehenge to watch the sun's rays fall across the heel stone. And like that, we're into full-on summer. Barbecues, parties, pools, lakes, rivers, vacations, no school! Hallelujah. For me personally, I like to start my countdown to fall right about now. I am a cold weather person, and sweaters and pumpkins suit me better than bikinis and martinis. Just kidding, martinis suit me year round.

This year we also have a new baby to look forward to - due on Thanksgiving! So that is kind of fun. With my past experience with second trimester miscarriage, I am hesitant to accept this as fact. But July 3rd I get my anatomy scan we will be officially "halfway" cooked.

So while I write down on my board "weeks until Christmas" or "weeks until Halloween", I am trying to make a conscious effort this year to appreciate each day. Hot, humid, cold, rainy, stormy, windy, dry. I want to feel each day. I am doing this by going outside and taking 10 minute walks around the park. Planning activities that are outdoor. Last weekend I just took my shoes off and stood in the grass while my baby played around my feet.

Sometimes, I think it's too easy to wish away our current lives. We look to the future so often that we forget to live in the now. Hell, I've been doing that so long that I don't honestly know what to do with myself when I have no thing to do. It's that awkward feeling of "what do I do with my hands?". For years, I surrounded myself with music, podcasts, movies, tv, anything to drown out the quiet. But as I (quickly) approach my 30th year here on planet Earth, I'm realizing that I've never actually had any time with myself. I don't know who I am, or what I like. And now that we've added in the titles of "wife" and "mother", that seems to be lost even deeper in the shuffle.

The goal for 2017 is to sort out who I am, what I want, and how I want to be a better human. Seriously. It's a little overwhelming to start with such giant questions, but they have to be asked, or i fear I'll spin out into non-existence without ever truly knowing my own heart.

Who am I? And who are you?